my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
