Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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