I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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