Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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