Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
