wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
