I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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