STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
