I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
