I need help removing her.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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