I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
