I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
