...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You were trust falling into bushes
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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