we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
