it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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