Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
