so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
