can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
