Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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