Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I've blown a few things in my day
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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