try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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