hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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