Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
