No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
We left an ass print on the piano.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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