I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
