i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
