im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
