Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
