I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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