I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
