I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize