She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
