I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize