Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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