Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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