he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
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