she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Randomize
