just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize