Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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