Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize