just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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