There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
