I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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