So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
this will be a night to untag.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
