is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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