Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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