yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I have surprise drugs for everyone
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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