So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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