if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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