There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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