sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
