are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
