forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
