There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
