:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize