Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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