Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
