Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
