Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
