Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
