Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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